ICKY MOOD MUSIC

     

          Saturday evening here in “the home”, as one of my friends joked, and I am in an anti-nostalgic mood.  (I must explain that “the home” is an excellent retirement facility in northwest Chicago, called Ascension Living in Resurrection Village.)

As part of several musical programs offered here, tonight there is a musician playing for our “Sock Hop” (gag), regaling us with songs from the fifties.  <<<We even had a “Senior Prom” in June! Our Activities Director is quite creative>>> We often hear songs from past eras, to which I have mixed feelings.  The past era songs bring back bittersweet memories to me, of broken romances and lost loves. 

They play all the “oldies” from our teen years, our dating years, our breaking-up-with-boyfriends years, our waiting-for-the-phone-to-ring years.  To be honest, that’s what the music conjures up for me.

          I would look over the audience, the sea of gray and white-haired listeners, mostly women who are widows, and wonder, what is this music doing for them—or to them?

          I have already confessed in this blog that I am (ahem) a somewhat emotional and over-the-top person.  No one else seems to feel like crying or gnashing their teeth when these memories come sweeping over them via the “oldies” music.

          So I bypass these programs now.  After being here almost one year, I can fine-point my activities and program selections.  But I can’t help but wonder if there is anyone, anyone else among this elderly crowd, that feels as I do when the songs go rolling over them. 

          There is a delightful monthly musical program here that I always happily attend. It is classical music, which I enjoy.  But I’m really not some kind of rabid groupie over Beethoven, or have Mozart posters in my room.  I really enjoy the presenter, an enthusiastic knowledgeable man who tells us about the music, the composer’s life, the orchestra instruments---all in such an earnest way that draws everyone in.  THAT I can enjoy, with no angst-filled past memories pinging around my mind.

          I guess that even with my dear friends I’ve met here, there are times when I feel a bit isolated in my views and reactions.  But then I can open up my laptop, and spill out my feelings all over the keyboard, and feel…..well….better!

Thanks for listening.