MY SO-CALLED INFECTION

       Oh my dear sweet Blog, I have been away so long. RECENT medical reason—a long hospital stay from Jan 5^th to Jan15th, the rehab at The Moorings from Jan 15^th to Jan 26th.  Three weeks in a strange existence, where I had to press a red button to get my ass wiped, or to get out of bed, or get wheeled anywhere, or get food, or water, or whatever was needed at the time.

       All those days—21 days, three weeks, where I was not in charge of my life in most any ways. I wasn’t even in charge of my thoughts during the early days of this exile!  Because of the kidney infection, I was not thinking clearly. I lost my bearings, lost time, forgot a great deal. It was frightening to me, and I wasn’t even aware of all the lapses!  My daughter Niki, aided wonderfully by my sisters Joanie and Mary Rose, helped me during those very cloudy days.  Even when I understood very little, I could see their dear faces looking with love at me, every minute of this dismal time.

       I have kept this special note which Niki wrote out for me….a paper life raft that I could use when the fog grabbed my mind:

       I have now been home since Jan 25^th.  I still don’t drive, and still use a walker, and still am a bit short of breath as I move around. ). Actually, I needed rehab just to be able to get out of bed and even start walking again! I was back to toddler status for a while.

My daughter (and lucky for me, my roommate) Niki continues her heroic help—fetches food, did laundry, and drives me everywhere, especially to the seemingly endless followup doctor visits. (I saw doctors in several specialties, because the infection affected my mind and body in many charming ways.)      

       It’s humbling and bewildering and amazing all mixed up together.  I’m still sorting it out. I’m grateful to my darling Niki, her brothers, my sisters, my daughter-in-laws, all my dear friends, who sent their support and well wishes during this time.

       I add this very important footnote: one month ago, on Feb 15^th, my Mom Rose died, after a amazing 100-year life.  She lived fully, and well, and was an amazing matriarch. It somehow showed that my health was a gift given back to me yet again, through medical means, but much more important—through the love of my family and friends.