So there’s a famous
quotation,
usually attributed
to the sassy actress Bette Davis,
who declared that
“OLD AGE IS NOT FOR SISSIES!”
Not good news for me,
as I embark
on my ridiculous old age
year of-----77
(yuck)!!!
Because I AM a SISSY!
I am not brave or courageous,
or anything that active and
energetic…
I hope around various plan
and projects,
disregarding logic
and giving in to flights of
fancy,
rarely rooted in reality.
I was going to buy a condominium
near my best friends,
I declared a few years ago.
I studied floor plans
and wove many wispy
scenarios---
and THEN consulted a mortgage
expert,
who baldly stated
that my financial situation
was a no-no for a mortgage of
any kind,
except maybe for a garage!
I face new Adventures in
Arthritis
every day,
fighting its
invasive aches
with several joint
replacement surgeries.
Well, having surgery is not
for sissies, right?
Wrong—
I just wanted to stop
hurting—
what a SISSY thing!
I delight in new ways to not
exert myself:
Ordering groceries online,
For instance.
Not only do Amazon and
Target and Costco
deliver items to my front
door,
but Jewel Osco started
deliveries last November.
My library has a
DRIVE THROUGH window,
Where I can pick up
my latest
pile of books and movies.
So there I am....
reading and viewing
recent
Movies on DVDs
and Binge-watching
favorite
Television shows
Via streaming services like
Netflix
From the cushy comfort
of my
couch:
SISSY, SISSY, SISSY!
My budget as well as my
arthritis
prevents much travel,
So I travel with my friends
via their wonderful Facebook
photos…
on my SISSY ass!
And playing online games-well,
my beloved cell phone
entices me daily with
Scrabble (called Words with
Friends)
and Gin Rummy
and Free Cell Solitaire…
while plunked down
...again...
on my SISSY rear end!
But I’ll tell you a secret....
if this is old age....
and I’m a SISSY about it...
ME LIKEY BEING A SISSY!
I WANT IT
ALL, AND I WOULD
LIKE IT
DELIVERED.(BETTE MIDLER)
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