OUR HEARTS ARE RESTLESS--

       Niki helped me sort out my journals stopped and started over the years, beginning with my 1970 journal celebrating our road trip cross-country to California and back.  It was the best road trip ever.  Dave and I drove through so many states and cities we had never seen before!  Highlights were the mountains of Colorado, the beauty of northern California, the wonderful experience of San Francisco, and so many other treats along the way.

       It still remains vivid in my mind.  It came at such a welcome juncture in my life.  I had finally finished my nightmare year at Mannheim Junior High (Sept 1969 to June 1970)….never to attempt teaching again until the fun of coordinating classes at ICLRU in Schaumburg….in 2010.

       Dave had been working night and day, every day of the week, to get his business prospering, so this was a well-needed respite for him.  Two weeks with the best traveling companion he could hope for! (I did very well with my choice of companion too.)  I became the “audiobook narrator” on the trip, reading The Naked Ape  as Dave drove.  It was the perfect arrangement---he liked driving, and I liked reading and talking.  I later explained to anyone we could tell that the car needed a stop for gas about the time my voice was giving out!

       Dave will always be my favorite traveling companion.  Despite the strong difference in our temperaments (which alas became more apparent as our married years went on), we could always trvel together well.  The many road trips with the kids were usually fine once we reached our destination. Those days in the 1980’s offered little in the way of technological entertainment for our cherubs. Games in the car (license plates, cow spotting, Twenty Questions, etc.) only offered fleeting diversions for the restless young ones.

       But oh, how I yearned for that open road—new sights, restaurants, time together, all was a welcome break from my mothering/housewife relentless role.  I could be a more carefree mother on the road! I remember driving through the beautiful Smoky Mountains of Tennessee, and just wanting to stop and stay and soak it all up….an permanently “run away from home”.

MY SO-CALLED INFECTION

       Oh my dear sweet Blog, I have been away so long. RECENT medical reason—a long hospital stay from Jan 5^th to Jan15th, the rehab at The Moorings from Jan 15^th to Jan 26th.  Three weeks in a strange existence, where I had to press a red button to get my ass wiped, or to get out of bed, or get wheeled anywhere, or get food, or water, or whatever was needed at the time.

       All those days—21 days, three weeks, where I was not in charge of my life in most any ways. I wasn’t even in charge of my thoughts during the early days of this exile!  Because of the kidney infection, I was not thinking clearly. I lost my bearings, lost time, forgot a great deal. It was frightening to me, and I wasn’t even aware of all the lapses!  My daughter Niki, aided wonderfully by my sisters Joanie and Mary Rose, helped me during those very cloudy days.  Even when I understood very little, I could see their dear faces looking with love at me, every minute of this dismal time.

       I have kept this special note which Niki wrote out for me….a paper life raft that I could use when the fog grabbed my mind:

       I have now been home since Jan 25^th.  I still don’t drive, and still use a walker, and still am a bit short of breath as I move around. ). Actually, I needed rehab just to be able to get out of bed and even start walking again! I was back to toddler status for a while.

My daughter (and lucky for me, my roommate) Niki continues her heroic help—fetches food, did laundry, and drives me everywhere, especially to the seemingly endless followup doctor visits. (I saw doctors in several specialties, because the infection affected my mind and body in many charming ways.)      

       It’s humbling and bewildering and amazing all mixed up together.  I’m still sorting it out. I’m grateful to my darling Niki, her brothers, my sisters, my daughter-in-laws, all my dear friends, who sent their support and well wishes during this time.

       I add this very important footnote: one month ago, on Feb 15^th, my Mom Rose died, after a amazing 100-year life.  She lived fully, and well, and was an amazing matriarch. It somehow showed that my health was a gift given back to me yet again, through medical means, but much more important—through the love of my family and friends.