Thursday, April 07, 2016

WORD CONSTIPATION


          Writer's Block--Need a Laxative!



          I really looked at the books 
on my headboard bookcase 
by my bed this morning, 
and my eyes fell upon a small book
 entitled A Writer's Workshop.


Hmmmm......a tiny sign for the day?  


        The foreword of the book contained the following quote, by Honore de Balzac.  The Workshop writer slyly mentioned Balzac had still "managed to churn out some ninety novels in his lifetime." (And without a computer or delete key or SpellCheck!)


"...And the writer is a looker-on
at his talent's suicide..." (Balzac)


          Most days I have a small goal to write, usually in this blog, 
to keep from being "blocked up" by unwritten words.

          I once earned a bit (a small bit) of money with freelance writing, but I didn't stay with it...just not a "sure thing", so I lost impetus.  If I was blocked up on those many non-writing days, I usually ignored the bloated sensation.
          
          But my state of retirement presents me with the dubious gift of unscheduled time...my trusty laptop beckons.  Even as I find it difficult to walk around with arthritis tugging tiresomely at my back, I certainly find sitting still comfortable.  So writing is physically fetching.....just mentally annoying.

          If you don't write anything, 
then you don't write badly....
or stupidly.  
And yet I cannot ignore the sweet feeling 
of having written.

          I have been guided--and goaded--
by feelings and intuition all my life.
 (Sometimes even a good thing.) 

          And so, dear little blog, 
you are my conduit for words, 
for some attempts at verbal expression.....
small little steps....
blop
                  blop....



Sweet Relief !
(Did this entire crappy metaphor 
really start with"Writers Block"?)

Aren't you glad we have reached "the end"?
(snicker)


Tuesday, April 05, 2016

BIBBIDI BOBBIDI BOO!

          After years of coming to grips with the fact 
that I am not living in a fairy tale. 
*That after the prince takes you to the castle, 
you will have to do his laundry
 and clean said castle... 
*That the Coach needs a regular oil change
 and breaks down in subzero weather...
*That it's hard to find any good footmen these days, 
and why would I need one anyway... 
*That "happily ever after" cannot be sustained forever.

***That I have to be MY OWN FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!!

Really not the worst revelation--
I've had years to get used to this idea.
Probably started when I would get to the end of a 
"My Life Will Be Perfect When......." moment
And discover that yes, I had that 
college degree/job/husband/home/kids/retirement...
BUT still not "Perfect", Not "Ever After"

(But really still very, very nice.)

And I didn't have to wait around for that Fairy Godmother 
To appear and grant all these outlandish wishes,

BECAUSE I WAS MY OWN FAIRY GODMOTHER!




As Glinda The Good Witch told Dorothy 
at the end of her travels down that yellow brick road
(and WHY couldn't she have told her this at the beginning?):
"You had the power all along, my dear."



I have always held the wand, had the power, 
to grant my own wishes,
to dream and then go after that dream,
To be happy with the ever after
That is RIGHT NOW",
to be oh-so-grateful for that "right now".

Because that is the true power... 
That knowing you are holding the wand
And you can wave it as wildly and strongly as you want.
That you have a nice orthepedic pair of Ruby Slippers,
And can (slowly) click them together at will.

The TRUE Fairy Tale
is having my own (worn out) Wand
And clicking my own (scuffy) Ruby Slippers
Happily
Ever
After!